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The first of these reports took place a while ago after a night out on the town. Please bear with me as I explain some background -I was drinking with an old school friend George and his mate Tom, someone I only met for the first time that night. My chum was lucky enough to score a young lady that evening, and asked me about 2am if it was ok if I stayed with Tom, as I had meant to be crashing at his place. I drunkenly agreed and jumped into a cab with Tom, to arrive at his place 20 mins later. In the journey, I had managed to ask Tom his living situation - it turns out he lived in a shared house (those magic words) with three other girls, and what is more all three of them were away this weekend.. Now, I don’t know if it was just the night air or the possibility of searching out some knickers, but I started to sober up a little. We had a small vodka each in the front room where I was crashing. I could tell from the layout of the house, that the other three bedrooms were above the ground floor where the kitchen/toilet/Tom’s room and the living room were. It gets better. Tom crashed out soon enough. My drunkenness', combined with that lovely adrenalin buzz, kept me awake for the next 30 mins, while I plotted away in the dark. Heart pounding, I got up from the sofa, and softly walked out of the open lounge door. Ahead of me was the first flight of stairs - to my right, Tom’s bedroom door, firmly shut, no signs of life whatsoever. I began to gingerly pick my way up the stairs.. careful to tread at the edges of the boards to minimize creaking. After what seemed like an eternity I made it to the short few corner stairs and onto the first floor landing. I could see two more rooms ahead of me, one room that was shut (I would later find it was locked) and another that was open. I crept along the corridor, trying the first handle slowly (amazing luck, thinking back.. knowing they were all away) but finding it locked solid. I tiptoed into the next room, a girl's room, definitely, I could spot a few objects in the streetlight glow coming through the half open curtains. I carefully slid the door closed, it was a smooth wooden floor I recall, then flicked the lightswitch. I gazed upon a room the same size as the spacious lounge beneath, but with a huge bed and flowery bedspread, a few arty prints on the walls, general female paraphernalia sitting around. Its amazing how the panty thief’s mind works - on my first sweep I spotted a big white fold-up hamper sitting in the corner. Bingo. I crept over to it, and began my first delve of the night. It was three-quarters full, lots of stuff in there. Her clothes generally smelled quite nice, a few perfumes wafted up as I hunted. Within a few searches, I’d pulled out two skimpy looking black thongs, nice and teeny, whoever this girl was, she was thin.. I must be honest, I didn’t even take the time to sniff those beauties. Imagine it, 3am, half-micked, in a near-complete strangers’ absent flatmate’s hamper, stealing her private undies.. The same thought had occurred to me: time to get the hell out. I stuffed the panties in my trouser pocket, then crept back to the door, flicked off the light and reset the door to its former angle. Here’s where I got greedy. As I looked up the final flight of stairs in front of me, I couldn’t believe my eyes. At the top, about 15 steps up, was a small landing and a window. I could see, sitting on this landing, a white fold-up hamper, with clothes hanging over the edge. Talk about on a plate. This mission wasn’t over yet.. I crept up the next flight, just as carefully as the first, reaching the top to peer around the corner and see a few more steps, then the final bedroom- what looked like a loft conversion. Amazingly, this flatmate kept her dirty panties out of her room! I turned back to the hamper - and I remember now, in fact there were a pair of white satin panties hung over the edge of it..

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